I come from a family of hermits, but I’ve never been sure if that was by choice or not, as none have had a particularly robust financial picture. My siblings appear to be on the broad road to hermit-land, so I drag them out from time to time whether they want to or not. (And one brother’s attire leaves me in no doubt he’d rather not.) But my family at least appears to be content with their life. I’m like you, I suspect: Would crave a bit of human contact.
So here’s how I’ve planned for potential alone-ness should I find myself with nothing but bland television and amazing Chardonnay to keep me company:
1. Take classes. I want to learn IT security, cooking beyond the microwave (![:D]( "Very Happy")
), French, young-speak (as in, the jargon that seems to further isolate an older person), certain historical eras, how to play the cello…those are the ones off the top of my head. (My list has something like 15 different subjects, but I just listed a few to give you inspiration!)
2. Volunteer somewhere for which I have a passion. I have two areas in my mind (one, strangely enough, being financial tutoring). I have a friend who drives bell ringers for the Salvation Army; another volunteers to be a camp counselor for inner city kids who generally do not see suburbia; a third does meals-on-wheels deliveries; then there’s the tax guy who does people’s taxes. I cannot say where I would volunteer yet, as my time is spent keeping custody of the various relationships. My nature is rather shy; when I retired and tried to get into the volunteer mode, I was rebuffed…have been too unsure to try again yet. My sister is the caricature cat lady; I’ve been trying to nip her hermit tendencies by offering to volunteer with her for a cat rescue. So far, I have failed, but continue to try.
3. Church and church activities. I’ve volunteered to be the treasurer for our church…again, rebuffed. Strange, because my work-role was corporate treasury (which, in a mid-sized company, means anything from financings to accounting to risk management to bank relationships). With this background, I’d always thought I would be highly qualified for this type of volunteer role.
4. Last, and I mean VERY last, step into an HOA role. Most HOAs desperately want people to volunteer, but no one else seems to want it. You’d certainly meet most of your neighbors!
5. Take slow, meandering walks in your neighborhood and stop to chat with power walkers, dog walkers, and (most importantly), reluctant walkers. The first would move faster to avoid you (whereby you assist them in their goals), and the last would bless you for interrupting a reluctant goal. In between, you’ll get either a good barking-at or a bath-of-licks. You might even see a cat on a leash. (Strange world we live in, eh?!)
6. Get some Bluetooth headsets and some music on your phone to sing to yourself the songs of your era. It takes time and patience to develop the structures that lift you out of alone-ness, but it has always seemed to me, even in my youth, that I wasn’t alone when singing alongside my favorites. The really sad part is that I just cannot find “the” key, let alone any key, so my tone even scares me. But with the headsets on, I keep up just fine! On a funny note, was out with friends many years ago. They just love karaoke, so I dug up a good vat of courage and went on stage because I knew they would get a kick out of it. I told the crowd I’d be giving them my best…but that my best only had laughter value. I was awful; I laughed at myself; the crowd laughed at me; got a standing ovation. Taught me another valuable lesson:I could bring joy to others even in my weakness. And maybe that’s the best answer to your dilemma…figure out how you can bring joy to others, and they will seek you out.
So here’s how I’ve planned for potential alone-ness should I find myself with nothing but bland television and amazing Chardonnay to keep me company:
1. Take classes. I want to learn IT security, cooking beyond the microwave (
), French, young-speak (as in, the jargon that seems to further isolate an older person), certain historical eras, how to play the cello…those are the ones off the top of my head. (My list has something like 15 different subjects, but I just listed a few to give you inspiration!)2. Volunteer somewhere for which I have a passion. I have two areas in my mind (one, strangely enough, being financial tutoring). I have a friend who drives bell ringers for the Salvation Army; another volunteers to be a camp counselor for inner city kids who generally do not see suburbia; a third does meals-on-wheels deliveries; then there’s the tax guy who does people’s taxes. I cannot say where I would volunteer yet, as my time is spent keeping custody of the various relationships. My nature is rather shy; when I retired and tried to get into the volunteer mode, I was rebuffed…have been too unsure to try again yet. My sister is the caricature cat lady; I’ve been trying to nip her hermit tendencies by offering to volunteer with her for a cat rescue. So far, I have failed, but continue to try.
3. Church and church activities. I’ve volunteered to be the treasurer for our church…again, rebuffed. Strange, because my work-role was corporate treasury (which, in a mid-sized company, means anything from financings to accounting to risk management to bank relationships). With this background, I’d always thought I would be highly qualified for this type of volunteer role.
4. Last, and I mean VERY last, step into an HOA role. Most HOAs desperately want people to volunteer, but no one else seems to want it. You’d certainly meet most of your neighbors!
5. Take slow, meandering walks in your neighborhood and stop to chat with power walkers, dog walkers, and (most importantly), reluctant walkers. The first would move faster to avoid you (whereby you assist them in their goals), and the last would bless you for interrupting a reluctant goal. In between, you’ll get either a good barking-at or a bath-of-licks. You might even see a cat on a leash. (Strange world we live in, eh?!)
6. Get some Bluetooth headsets and some music on your phone to sing to yourself the songs of your era. It takes time and patience to develop the structures that lift you out of alone-ness, but it has always seemed to me, even in my youth, that I wasn’t alone when singing alongside my favorites. The really sad part is that I just cannot find “the” key, let alone any key, so my tone even scares me. But with the headsets on, I keep up just fine! On a funny note, was out with friends many years ago. They just love karaoke, so I dug up a good vat of courage and went on stage because I knew they would get a kick out of it. I told the crowd I’d be giving them my best…but that my best only had laughter value. I was awful; I laughed at myself; the crowd laughed at me; got a standing ovation. Taught me another valuable lesson:I could bring joy to others even in my weakness. And maybe that’s the best answer to your dilemma…figure out how you can bring joy to others, and they will seek you out.
Statistics: Posted by WJAM576082 — Wed Dec 24, 2025 6:45 am — Replies 11 — Views 587