If you spend A LOT of time worrying, it's probably worth hiring the future advisor now. The going rate is $5-15K per year, and maybe you can pay a lower fee now (until you become incompetent or pass) as you're willing and able to do much of the work yourself. Those of us trying to start "ideal" financial planning firms are trying to come up with options like that for "validators" like you that make business sense and are worth the fee for you. What that looks like and costs, we're not quite sure yet. But $10K a year for the next decade or two from $8 million is dramatically less than your heirs are likely to make in mistakes the first year after you pass. I see a lot of value in an advisor for you even though YOU don't actually need one RIGHT NOW.I'm seeking perspective on a succession planning challenge, and whether I am simply neurotic on this topic.
My wife (73) and I (74) have an estate of approximately $8 million across multiple account/asset types: taxable accounts, traditional and Roth IRAs, a variable annuity, HSA, and our primary residence. We work with both an estate planning attorney and an hourly financial advisor, both local.
The challenge: My wife is completely disinterested in financial management - and I mean 100%. In our most recent annual review, she asked me what a CD was. Our 31-year-old daughter is financially independent but similarly disinterested, which I understand given her busy life. The fact that she will inherit this estate is currently a remote abstraction for her.
I've prepared a detailed "death book" with instructions for my passing. Neither will look at it.
What I'm seeking: An advisor who can serve as a trusted guide to help my wife (and possibly my daughter) through the transition and ongoing management after my death. This goes beyond typical financial or legal advice - I need someone who can understand my thinking and planning approach, then translate that into actionable support for people who currently have zero engagement with these matters.
My current attorney and financial advisor don't fill this role for reasons that are unimportant here.
I've been actively searching and thought I found an attorney for this role, but after one meeting (and a $1500 invoice) I realized they weren't the right fit.
My question: Is this search worthwhile, or should I accept that my current arrangements (estate attorney + financial advisor + death book) are sufficient and simply trust that my wife and daughter will figure it out when the time comes?
I question myself, and wonder whether I'm simply neurotic. The reality is that I worry about this quite a bit.
What guidance can the BH community offer?
Small Law Survivor
Statistics: Posted by White Coat Investor — Tue Jan 27, 2026 12:12 pm — Replies 18 — Views 525