Personal Finance (Not Investing) • Cohabitation, house appreciation

I am betting a boglehead or two has been in my situation concerning cohabitation with a partner and how to handle the house.

I am 62, my partner is 63. We have been dating 2-1/2 years and are planning to have him move into my house next year (coincidentally around the 3 year mark).

My house is in my trust. I want to retain full ownership of the house. But since my partner will not benefit from housing appreciation, I want to give him some protection in that regard should we break up and he has to secure new housing in an appreciated environment. I thought about having the trust allow him to live in the house should I pass first but, practically speaking, that could keep the trust open and running for a very long time if I die young-ish. Also, if the money is distributed as scheduled, there wouldn't be money left and the corporate successor trustee I have requires money in the trust - they wouldn't just manage a house.

We are not in a common law state (FL) and we will have a cohabitation agreement - I have had the initial consultation with the lawyer. But it seems ultimately it is our choice/decision on how to structure this housing situation. I have also sent an email to my estate lawyer but I would be very interested in boglehead responses to this as I have so much respect for the breadth of knowledge and experience on this forum.

I'm trying to keep it as simple as possible to avoid future hassles, probate, problems with children (he has 2 sons, I have 1 step-son), to protect my partner to help him afford accommodations should we break up or I die first, and to offer his beneficiaries some of the appreciation that he might have gained had he owned a home.

Any comments on the following idea?

Scenario A – Break-Up After 10 Years
If Partner and I separate while living together, Partner shall be entitled to receive 20% of the appreciation in the fair market value of my residence from the date he moved in to the date of separation. Appreciation shall be determined by averaging two independent appraisals, one chosen by each party. This payment shall be made as a one-time lump sum.

Scenario B – He Dies First
If Partner dies while residing with me, his estate or, if he so designates, his children shall receive the same 20% of home appreciation that would have been payable to him under the cohabitation agreement, calculated from the date he moved in to the date of his death. Payment shall be made as a one-time lump sum from my estate or other liquid assets, without granting any ownership interest in my home.

Scenario C – I Die First
If I die while Partner is residing in my home, he shall receive a one-time lump sum equal to 20% of the home appreciation (calculated from the date he moved in to the date of my death) plus 10% of the remaining value of my estate, to assist him in securing housing or other living arrangements. Payment shall be made from my estate’s liquid assets and shall not convey any ownership interest in my residence.

Again, having him able to stay in the house would be nice but gets complicated with my trust.

Frankly, Scenario C only seems likely for the first handful of years. I would think if we are still together in 10 years, that at some point by then I would have amended my trust to include more for him but the 10% seems reasonable for the first few years...?....It does help that I finally recognize that a revocable trust is a document that I can, and should, change with circumstances

If it helps in the conversation, I have about 3.5M and he has about 1.7M. No one will starve. And the 20% of appreciation was his suggestion.

I would be grateful for any comments and curious about any problems I'm not seeing with this arrangement before I suggest it to the lawyers.

Statistics: Posted by toddthebod — Mon Oct 20, 2025 8:07 pm — Replies 15 — Views 656